Tour of Sufferlandria : the Rubber Glove exam


This is the story of the first stage of the Tour of Sufferlandria (ToS). It’s the Rubber Glove, 20 min FTP test. Yes, it’s a test, but there is no rubber glove exam. The rubber glove is a metaphor for the fear that men experience when they visit their doctor at the age of 40. Yes, it’s painfull.

After sucessfully installing the TrainerRoad (TR) software and pairing the cadence and power pod on my girlfriend’s computer. I’m eating an orange and mentally preparing for the test.

Putting on the bike shorts, heart rate strap, shoes, looking at Suunto Ambit2 watch, heart rate increases… what am I doing ?

Because I don’t have the Sufferfest videos, I am preparing the 20 minutes playlist that will guide me through the 20 minutes journey to hell.

Starting workout…WAIT !  The window is shut. Getting off the bike, opening window. -16 deg C (3 deg F) outside. That’s better. Starting workout.

Warming up. Messing and testing with slope mode for the first time. I decided that 3.50 slope would be good. The target power is slowly increasing in steps of 3 minutes. Easy. haha… this is going to be fun ! 

5 x 1 minute intervals at current FTP just to get the blood flowing. Easy spin.

90 sec before the test. Start my 21.5 minutes playlist. Eminem – Loose yourself (music from 8 mile movie)

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,

Test is starting in 3…2…1

The clock’s run out, time’s up, over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

First 10 sec, wow this is easy, I could maintain this pace forever ! 

20 sec in, woahh slow down

3 minutes in, heart is pumping fast, breathing gets heavier, but my legs are fine.

the 2nd song is James Arthur – Impossible. No it’s not, I am telling myself.

8 minutes in, first doubts, 3rd song : He’s a pirate (Pirates of the Caribbean theme song).

Hope.

10 minutes in, 10 minutes to go…

8 minutes to go, I am now almost sure I can finish.

6 minutes to go, song : Clint Mansell – Requiem for a Dream

Shivers…spinning hard and fast…you can do it ! Looking just left of the computer to my ToS poster, Iwillbeatmyasstodaytokickyourstomorrow.

2 minutes left, mouth wide open, sweaty floor mat, water bottle empty.

Last minute, I give it all.

Power drops, breathing hard, feeling deezy. First stage completed. OMG that was hard.

Looking at 8 next stages of ToS, smiling…

 

____________________

Dimitri

You can view the workout here : http://www.trainerroad.com/cycling/rides/657788-Sufferfest-Rubber-Glove

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